What's the matter with the mic I'm using?
(Can't you tell you sound like a schlub?)
Should I get a set of new quartz crystals?
(Are you gonna join the Century Club?)
Nowadays you can't be too experimental
The best discoveries are still accidental.
Relays clunk, cyberpunk, even if it's old junk
It's still radio to me.

CHORUS:
Oh, it doesn't matter what they say on the web, be-
Cause the webheads never got our scene.
There's a new band on 60
But you can't get the specs from a story in a magazine...
Aimed at an unlicenced teen.

How about a set of three matched Yagis
With the main lobe aimed at France?
You could be another Timtron, baby,
If you just give it half a chance.
Don't waste your money on a new pair of sneakers,
You get more mileage from a cheap set of speakers.
Matched phase, half wave, tubes blaze, anyways
It's still radio to me.

(SAX INTERLUDE, THEN:) ooooOOOOooooooooo!

What's the matter with the net I'm joining?
(Don't you know that they're out of touch?)
Should I try to be the channel master?
(If you were then you'd talk too much.)
Aint you gonna build a new station honey?
All you need is skill and a whole lotta money.
It's a matched phase, half wave, tubes blaze, anyways
It's still radio to me.

OUTRO:
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new modes
Funny, but it's still radio to me.

1. The lines in parentheses should be sung by someone
   other than the lead singer. Hopefully by a group.
2. The long "ooOOoooo" after the sax interlude should
   sound like zero-beating a signal on a tranceiver.

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day,
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day,

Ever since I was a tiny boy,
I don't want no candy,
I don't need no toy.
I took a Collins and an old navy bug,
And I banged on that thing til I got
Blisters on my thumb because

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
(Yes, I do!)
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.
(That's right!)

When I get older they think I'm a nut,
My Elmer said I should try for Extra, but
I just started pounding on the bug in my hands,
And the band was so hot,
It made the my Elmer want a chance!
And that's why

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
(Hey, why not?)
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.
(Listen to this:)

Every day when I get home from work,
I feel so frustrated,
The boss is a jerk.
And I get my bug and go to my ham shack,
And I pound on that key like it was the boss's, um....
Because

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.
(I can bang that key!)

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
(Gonna try 160, now....)
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
(Hey, you wanna make a contact?)
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.

I don't want to work, I want to bang on the key all day.
I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the key all day.

(I can do this all day!)

Note:
The lines in parentheses should be spoken, not sung.